Friday, January 30, 2009

How to Screw Up Your Diet: 8. Bite The Big One

Take Monster bites. Think Huge. Think Anaconda.

All together now!!

If you feel that you may have to unhinge your jaws, you’re doing it right. How much can you fit in there anyway?

Squirrel-packing your cheek pockets puts more food in that handy cheek-storage, which will allow you to have it in case you need it for a quick burst of energy.

Quick bursts of energy burn calories, which not only ensure that you lose more weight, but that you lose it in time to fit into your fantasy bathing suit by June.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

How to Screw Up Your Diet: 7. Size Does Matter

Pursue platter portions.

Serve meals on the largest plate you own. Turn over a garbage can lid if you have to, and make sure to completely fill the space with whatever you can ladle onto it.

And if you you eat tons and tons of DIET food, all the better.

Remember this equation: more diet food = more diet = more weight loss.

Do the math.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

How to Screw Up Your Diet: 6. Lose Your Mind

Lose your mind.

Eat at your desk, alone, doing your job as you mindlessly eat and eat.

Eat while watching TV at night, so you can be distracted by the latest episode of “The Biggest Loser.”

The most important thing here is to never become aware of your food, or you will recognize just how much you have eaten.

If you don't see it ... it's probably not there!

Monday, January 26, 2009

How to Screw Up Your Diet: 5. Eat on the GO

Eat on the go.

You can eat it in your car
You can eat it on your feet
You can eat where ever you are
And you'll never be replete

Listen, just keep moving so you burn the calories as you shovel them in.

Eating in a rush and huff is fantastic because it never allows your body to slow down enough to digest your food – no digestion, no calories!

Sunday, January 25, 2009

How to Screw Up Your Diet: 4. Eat All The Time

Eat all the time. Really.

Graze. Think bovine thoughts. Moo once in a while if you have to.

Once you start chomping, you'll get a little mouth momentum working, and you can just go with it. Start with five to six small meals, and work up from there.

Again, work the logic: if you just keep eating, you’ll basically eat all day. Therefore, at that point, you’rereally only having one meal per day.

Keeping snack foods in your desk – not to mention your vehicle – will really help in this worthy dietary effort.

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